The Lost

words

drizzling from lips

tongue spun tales

of this great self

accomplished knowledge

pouring forth

at the wrinkled face

silenced

and bent of time

the wisdom

burdened sage

knods understanding

the pause unquieted

nothing has been gained

the gifted nugget

not held

not to be found

in words still spilling always

lost

for want of grasping

 

-Elyse Bontrager

 

Advertisements

Untangling The Web

   It is nearly 4:00 am; I still can’t sleep. I decided to fill the tub, and crank up the jets. The pain of bones, and body… Its getting to me tonight. And my mind, it has not stopped processing, since returning home from Flint.

   Mind, it plays over moments, conversations, actions of self, others,… Oh what a tangled web we can weave. And winters cauldron, commences to stirring. Let it unravel, splinters, shards, blessings, betrayals… Fall where you may. One doesn’t have to like truth, but still, must embrace. Pristine the fact- truth, the necessity of survival.

   Fact is, friendship, is a far more weighty thing, than knowing of, or having known of someone. To bind in relationship with one, as friend, is committing to add them to your priorities, should need arise. Offering a modicum of thought, or concern to their travails, or success. And to know what meanings these things hold, for your friend. You are not just acquaintance; caring, perhaps, for curiosities sake, manipulative gains…? These things do not encompass the bonding of friend. Friendship holds level, of closeness with depth, but only one bond is that of friend.

   Thinking back over the months; I find it all so interesting. Looking in, now the static observer. And seeing deeply, what consciously, mind let fall to the side in its focusing. Every picturing tells a story. And spirit speaks to me. Oftentimes, looking back, one can see more clearly. Hence the adage. Hindsight is 20/20. And I, type, type, typing in the present moment, laugh. Looking through bifocals, to make clear each word. Yes, looking back, one sees many things.

   and spirit speaks to me…

   No. I cannot allow ego this moment of indulgence. Gratify self, feeling its reward. At expense to all that is other? That is not love. Love honors the spirit that is, and is in ALL living beings. I see- what was. And now, I see what is. It won´t change a thing, nor me. I will speak of, nor to anyone, differently. For that is not of love. That is not me. I WILL be the change, the intent of my being. Learn the lessons in the pain. Grow by those lessons. Give the lessons away. And when a moment meets me, again on this journey, (circles go round that way,) I´ll know a thing, or word, the way. Being in situations reminiscent, again, the change. Circles do go round that way.

Everything, if one looks, deeply, IS connected…

   and spirit spoke to me.

Healing Light

I get so busy,

sometimes.

In this world there is so much need.

I can get lost on this path of the healer,

the universe has laid before me.

Oftentimes –

tears began to fall,

for all the hurting souls.

Their pain,

I somehow feel as my own.

I can become overwhelmed by the cacophony of sorrows,

filling space and time…

Until one cry,

most urgent

pulls me in,

won’t be denied…

For this,

the pain that beckons,

is mine.

Reminding me,

again

that self-care, and self-love are necessity.

Healing to the spirit..

clearing the clutter…

letting in the light,

allowing it to shine

through me…

healing.

By- Elyse Bontrager