I know what others think, and say…

I know the petty, mocking people-

they parade,

of life past..

They ALL haunt me nomore.

My unknown salvation-


wore whispers on lips.

for somebody’s mistake.

This always, under mask,

underneath…nothing more.


So many years, wasted of tears,

over what some Bitch, boy, or a few had to say.

They formed someone other,

abrasion does grid


The sharp, honed strength ..

refined through fire, one could say.

And on tarnished angel wings,

fading sun,

shines a moment more.

Look! rust, resembles good dust,


in the waning light.

Night Falls.



Winters cauldron will,

stir once more,

ever refining the brew.

Pouring in reflections of one,


Finally free.


Dedicated to my dear Sister, Trena Jane Douglas Bauer,

born November 19, 1965, leaving us all far too soon on August 23, 2016.


Falling Down and Down

They are reaching out.

I am pulling away.

Too tired to explain, and try…


I want to scream, in the silence

It builds.

But only tears come falling down,

and down, and down…

I hate… this.



I feel the tightening of skin,

On my face, my neck…

Tears drying again.

Into The Darkness

This about sums up the state of things. ♡

'Ms Elyse'

Hum…. Where to begin? Today is just an all around rough one for me, having chronic pain, and seasonal depression. This  would be typical for most days in the winter months, so, why complain? Well, the main reason… We have had so many uncharacteristically warm days for the season, that when the freezing temps hit, they seemed worse than usual. I don’t know that this is the only reason, but it is one of them. Another reason is that I really want to keep up on this blog, but pain causes sleep problems, and the lack of sleep with the pain, causes mood issues… BLAH!

I hate to be that woman, the one that whines all the time about everything. Somewhere upon my journey, that is what I became, at least during the late fall, and winter months. Do you ever not like yourself very much? I am not liking me at all today. Once I…

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